It's that time once again when many people are posting reviews of the year just passed. I always enjoy reading these posts, seeing the people I follow who have achieved all that or more than they hoped to whilst hoping those who didn't are able to in the coming year. I'm always drawn to writing something myself, and whilst my last year contains many highlights – my trip to Israel, a summer in North Wales and a deepening of friendships that have become increasingly valuable – I always feel somewhat hesitant to “review my year”.
I think the heart of that hesitancy lies solely in my feeling of a lack of accomplishment. I never feel I've achieved anything worth writing about or highlighting. I call it the curse of the Internet. It's so easy to spend time looking and comparing what I've done to all the people who have achieved a great deal, all the people who've had the guts to sit down work hard and put themselves out there. I'm always left reeling at, what feels like, my complete lack of gumption.
I am learning though. Learning to not let that fear of failure or fear of no one noticing be the reason to stop myself from doing the things I want to. Thats why I'm writing this post, to set out three small targets to try and set me on my way this year. I think they are all achievable and am hoping they will set me on my way to accomplish something this year.
In the last year I've put weight on. Some people will argue that I needed to, I've always been a bit skinny, but in the last year I've put on a little too much. I weighed myself over the Christmas holidays and well the number at the start was too high. My first mission is to lose a stone in weight by exercising more regularly and cutting out those little treats which have snuck into my diet.
The past couple of years has seen my blog fall in to decline, significantly. I've always enjoyed writing for my blog, but the past couple of years has seen a lot of things change in my life and it didn't feel right to be writing about them here. Nor did it seem right to continue writing about things which on reflection are quite trivial when compared to the loss of loved ones. But time is moving on, and I feel that it is time to pick up my pen once again and begin writing for my blog with more regularity. I realise I've said this before, and it's gotten past January, February and into March before I've really realised I've not done anything I'd hoped to, so I've given myself a number to aim for. I'm going to try to write four posts a month. Not four link posts, but four article posts, although I hesitate to call them articles. There'll be no word count, just original content, content I create because I want to and enjoy it.
The third thing I want to do is a little more open ended and probably something that everyone hopes to do. I'd like to use my time to greater effect.
I've always been a night owl, I like staying up late, the quiet cosiness of being up late with a small light on and my book, sketch book or Mac for company feels great. The problem is when you have a nine to five job that kind of behaviour is not really helpful. Hitting the sack in the early hours of the morning and then rising only a few hours later to go to work is a recipe for disaster. Burning the candle at both ends only really has one destination for me, running myself in to the ground and an onslaught of mouth ulcers. So in order to combat this tendency to waste my time, I'm resolving to give my self a bed time and get up earlier. My aim is to be up at six each morning in order to do a half hour of exercises, then spend time reading my bible, praying and whatever is left can be spent writing.
Re-reading that last paragraph makes it feel like a pretty big task, but I think knuckling down and doing it will help me to achieve the other two points. More than that though, having a set time to sit and read my bible without distraction will be the biggest benefit of all.
I've always admired those who are able to get up early and spend some time each morning to do this. While I'm away in North Wales for two weeks every year, I spend time leading a children's holiday club. When I'm there, life is so different to my everyday life that I'm able to easily get up early and spend time each morning reading from the word. I've become acutely aware in the last few weeks that it's all down to a matter of attitude. I'm so aware of how important it is in those two weeks to devote my time in such a manner, that it's time to change my attitude and devote that time every morning rather than in the evenings when I find it harder to concentrate and often run out of time. It's something that I enjoy, but often feel a need to do out of duty, yet, when I set time aside I've seen the benefits in my life and my relationship with Jesus. I want to do it more and so this attempt to change my sleeping patterns is motivated by that desire.
And so with that, please join me in raising my hot blackcurrent to 2012 and all it has in stall!